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Struggling To Write

I have not posted on this blog in over a month.

I have made New Year's Resolutions.

I wanted to write 1 Million Words this year.  I had a small notebook, I was writing down my word count.  What happened?

I am still writing.  What happened is what always happens to me.  SELF DOUBT

I write.  I have rough drafts, more than I want to admit.  Then I tell myself how stupid the draft is and then I write another rough draft of another story.  Then I think that draft is no good.  Then I start another story finish the rough draft and the cycle continues.  I am in this cycle and I can not jump off of it.

I know that my story ideas are good.  I know I can do this, but Self  Doubt comes in and there I sit in front of the television eating ice cream when I should be writing.  Even when I am watching television, I have a legal pad and pen next to me.  I jot down thoughts and ideas, but it leads to nothing.

What am I going to do?????

I have over 50 E-Books on Amazon  I know I can do this,  What is stopping me from finishing a story????

I have finished the story The Cross about 30,000 words.  I have someone to edit the story for free, but she can only do it this summer.  So this summer I will send it to her and it will be published in the fall.

But I should have another story for her to edit also, but I don't why???  I am not writing.  It is a struggle.  I know that it is all in my mind, but it is still a struggle.

On Facebook there are writer's groups that post their word count.  There are writers out there that are writing over 10,000 words a day.  A DAY!  I am lucky to write 1,000 words.

Am I giving up???

NO.  I am not giving up.

While I was on Facebook, yesterday, (when I should of been writing)  I found author and writer,
Bryan Hutchinson  and the book
The First Draft Is Not Crap

I bought and read the book yesterday.  It was as if the book was written for me.  It is only in the Kindle Edition.  I will reread the book.  I wish it was in paperback, because that book was talking to me and my Self Doubt.

So I am back, I never really left but I just had nothing to say,  I recommend this book.  It got me thinking and now I want to finish what I started.

I am a Writer.

So I write.



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